Swipe Left on BS

Everybody is absolutely flipping out about the still completely unknown implications of the various digital measurement storm clouds gathering on the horizon...but not Nicole Parlapiano, VP of Advertising at Tinder. Nicole, known for her mild temperament, reserved mannerisms, and lengthy calm spells, has a message for all the marketers caught in an endless information spin-cycle about Apple iOS14 and Google FLOCS and whatever else is inducing unnecessary panic.

 

That message, dearest gentle-minded and tender-souled listeners, is:

 

Take a deep breath and get back to basics.

 

It's not going to be easy, but it's fairly simple-everyone is going to have to pick back up some tried-and-true marketing ideas that never actually stopped working, and blend them with what few modern machines might keep running okay as we enter the Age of Digital Privacy. She's also fairly certain this will all be good, because being more thoughtful about consumer privacy will be positive for brands. Additionally, if psychology-driven customer centric thinking were to make a much needed and long overdue return to every element of advertising, it just might work wonders.

 

We've created all this complexity for ourselves, honestly, and now it's also on us to explain that to senior executives and other people who haven't been as close to the Constantly Escalating Complication Cook-Off that's been happening in the advertising kitchen for over a decade.

 

There's also some very interesting information to be had on how people ACTUALLY dated during the pandemic, and what this may say about how all of our behavior will and/or won't be different forever after the Quarantine Era. A look at how our frenemies the Zoomers are doing is also part and parcel of all this.

 

We also examine the strange ethical and moral positions major digital platforms end up taking on certain issues, such as dating, sexuality, pornography, cannabis, etc. You know, all the good stuff. The Too Big To Fail set of digital ad platforms certainly seem to have some strong opinions if you look at the real policies that actually impact advertising on their platforms, including for products that most people might consider completely innocuous at this point, such as dating apps for the general public. These restricted categories contain things that might be a little less dangerous than, say, oh, I don't know...(checks notes on the last few years) lots of what is at the very core of these large digital advertising platforms' own businesses?

 

Lee gets swiped left on by Tinder, the whole app itself, via a verbal warning from Nicole to stay off the platform, issued due to his ownership of an Android phone. Truly, no demographic is more wretched in the eyes of marketers than those who live in The Green Bubble. David bets his salary that Facebook and Instagram have wrecked more happy homes than any dating app. Ryan realized she may or may not still be in dozens of "It's Complicated" relationships on Facebook with high school and college friends, suggesting the existence of a Polycule so large and strange and powerful that it's theoretically a greater threat to all of California than the San Andreas Fault.