Measuring Your Ugly Babies

We talk to analytics + product + general genius Shayna Stewart about how the only thing your children will ever model is data, but that's okay, because the Key Diagnostic Indicator (KDI) is here to free us from the tyranny of the KPI. There's a patently non-VC take on Salesforce, the thing so boring nobody even knows what it does because they fall asleep three seconds into anyone trying to explain it to them, buying Slack, the work tool so fun nobody ever gets anything done on it because they get distracted three seconds into anyone explaining anything in a Slack channel. We also touch on Facebook's acquisition of Kustomer, which we assume is a CRM company for GoKart manufacturers...we will not be researching this assumption any further because: who cares? Shayna says data isn't telling you anything, you're telling yourself things about the data, and KDI's can help sort this out. Marketing is about relationships between people, relationships between data, and relationships between data people. If you're about to say "uh, actually" why don't you shut up and go smoke a cigarette, throw a baseball through a window, feel your body living in the physical world such that you develop a healthy respect for your own mortality. Randy can make a report say anything she wants, you can't stop her. Implementing Agile at your company is a great way to meet ex-rodeo clowns. Marketing personas are for the birds. We have sick new pod mood music from Church Girls (https://soundcloud.com/churchgirls).